What I Love Most

I love it have a very short memory.  I started this blog hours ago and I've forgotten why I thought of this.

It's been a fun day filled with adventures.  One person had me say I'm staying with her brother's house while she cleans it while he's away.

As I prepare for my stay at someone's brother's house, I'm off.

My Spirit

My spirit is drained.  I don't expect to have a red carpet rolled out for me and I've always hated asking for things.  I've always spoken-up for the needs of others first. I'm very kind and considerate.  Or so I pray.

I have to develop my back-bone and speak for myself.  When the spirit is low, my energy is also low and I can't speak for myself.

So... Another

I'm here, my head is killing me.  At least I was able to sleep for  longer than four hours.  Otherwise,  I'm so tired.

Internet but no Phone

My phone is disconnected, but I have God, or the Internet.  I'm moving to my new home without my cat.  She also has no new home yet.

I'm so afraid of sleep and not being able to fall asleep.  I'm in a semi-private room by the door. 

I don't want to chat too much.  I'm too emotional.

Moving

So I move tomorrow to a long term care facility.  Mixed emotions are what I have about it.  I'm 34 years old and hoped I'd see my last days in my own home.  I've had my cat, Lulu, for seven years.  She's seven.  I'll miss her so much. 

I want to start vlogging this experience on Youtube but am too vain.  I don't want to show my tear streaked cheeks.


Otherwise, I don't know when I will post next.  I hope it will be soon.

so...

My head is spinning.

I move to Northwood Monday and have to reduce my bachelor apartment to a half-room.

Like a whirlpool that never ends.

I maybe interrupted  because of my internet.

Decisions

Decisions are something we confront constantly.  There's generally good outcomes, but imagine the outcome if a differently.

Could I have had any of my current conditions sooner, just undetected?  But considering there were no abnormal event meaning testing for whatever and decisions were necessary.

Also, I'm osteoarthritic.   *insert sarcastic voice*  Yeah!  I think the decision was made to send me to an Endocrinologist for fortifying my bones.  I don't wanna give up Pepsi.  Oh, a new decision.

Another Post

Another lovely post.  I hate how I cry wolf.  I am told something, I share, and I am sharing fibs.  Now I'll be telling the truth.  All I want for Christmas is an LTC facility.  And Northwood  here I come. 

It is Christmas at Adrienne's house for the first time since I was 15 years old.  I have a new home in one week and a new camera to record the process.  I was smiling when I found out. I'm overwhelmed with emotion.

Losing my cat, Lulu, is the hardest thing out of everything.  The noise may be another issue.  I feel overwhelmed.

All will work out fine in the end.  That is my mantra.   Don't ask me what a mantra is though.  I'd assume it's like words to live by...

Sunday Morning

I am uncertain what Sunday mornings consist of for most.  I seem to forget every one after 17 years old to a few months ago.  Interesting, but that's MS.  It's remitting for the moment.

Sunday morning often smelled of coffee and bacon.  I'm the vegetarian bacon-eater who doesn't drink coffee.  The two scents I enjoy most, especially together.  I love going into a coffee shop mainly because of the lovely aroma.  I love going into Tim Horton's and taking a big whiff.  I loved out west at the beginning of the Starbucks craze.

As for bacon, I always loved the taste and scent.  I ate zero bacon between the ages of 17 to late-20s.  I didn't ever buy meat, I've only nibbled on bacon when my family had some on their plate.  My Grandmother, Mother, and I must eat overly-crisp bacon.  I am a vegetarian bacon-eater and gladly admit it.  It's been years since I've had it :(  I'll trade my computer for a pig - okay, no I won't...

So I'll wrap-up for now.  Damn I'm uncomfortable.  I can hear the  neighbours... 

empty seriously

empty

parking

As if parking here wasn't hard enough.  We need someone seen with a firearm pointed at a window  two blocks away. 

http://www.news957.com/news/local/article/422536--gun-call-closes-robie-through-morning


Parking just became much more interesting.

LTC Facility

I've been waiting and Northwood (a Long Term Care Facility {LTC}) is reviewing my application.  Basically they are seeing if they have proper living arrangements for me (i.e., they can provide Celiac friendly food, a large enough room because of my chair/table).  I will find out in a few days.

So I am also getting a new digital camera today too.  I will put myself on Youtube soon.  I need an HDMI micro cable then I'm able to post in HD.  I'm planning to share all of the moving experience too, if I move.

I have so much to do!

morning

So, waking with a migraine sucks. I'm wishing the clamp on my head was gone - even though of course it's a figure of speech.  I hope to write later.

tired..

As always, I'm way to tired.  I feel drained of energy, yet not as tired I need to sleep.  Well, I guess I'll try to sleep and see.

Music

I grew up with two cool, music-loving, parents.  The album covers were fun to look at and grow to love.  My absolute favourite band is The Doors and I was able to listen to albums of theirs. 

Harvest Moon  by Neil Young  it was a favourite album of mine.  But I really loved After The Gold Rush, by Neil Young.  I was my Fathers' child.  Dad loved (may still love) Neil Young.  I also bought Neil Young's Harvest Moon CD in the 90s.

I was so fortunate my parents loved music and shared it with my brother and me.  Who can honestly say they've held an eight-track?

6:27am

So it's around my normal annoying wake up time.  I have to wait until 8am to see another person.  I am too awake to sleep,  yet all I do is yawn and I'm tired enough to sleep, well almost.
I'll try to sleep again...

Zombie?

If I was bitten by zombie, as a disabled person in  a wheelchair, would I become a walking zombie or a wheelchair, lower half non-feeling, alive and human-eating zombie?

Can you tell I'm watching a lot of The Walking Dead? I don't want to lose interest in  it, then forget where I'm at.  Adrienne is off to Netflix!

20s

In my early 20s I went from overly confident woman to one whom feared walking.  My 30th birthday brought a power wheelchair.  My 31st brought a raised toilet seat.  I found retirement due to my health.

I forget my 32nd birthday.  I want to say it was because I was drunk at the club and dancing; but it's a lie.  I was home, like today, enjoying the gentle hum of a computer gazing into a screen.


 As I approach my current age, I hate writing about it.  At age 32, I forget this day.  I'm sure I must have not wanted to do anything.  #33 was spent in bed.  I had a minor surgery a week before.  I couldn't sit safely  in my power wheelchair.  I needed a new chair.  My 33rd birthday marked this sicker, more forgetful Adrienne.  My last drink of wine was then.

I'm so sad most of the time.  I'm just silly with others so it's  not to sad dealing with me.

I finally realize how distant from life

I didn't know the US election was yesterday.

Should it matter to me being Canadian?  How many Americans know Canada has a Prime Minister?  Also, how many Canadians know the day and four year frequency of the American election?

I know it happens in the Autumn.  It reminds me of beer and an old friend.  And him telling me about his eventual wife.

Lost

I'm not nearly as accurate as before.  I feel lost.    I don't have a clue what I want.  I know what I don't want but accept that it'll happen anyway.

There was a course I took in University on "Death & Dying" (I'm not dying) which describes the process we usually go through if we're dying and have time to process our death.  I've always been morbid and raw when talking about death.

So...

I sit here pleasantly waiting for supper.  Well, I'm actually hungry.   And the burning smell hurts my head.  Luckily my food and head aren't burning.

16 Degree Temperature Change

My life is so hectic.  No wonder I forget  so much.  Between nurses and home support workers, only five a day.  I'm amazed I'm not having more mental challenges.  Recall has never been a strong.

And temperature fluctuations suck.  I get so sick from them.  At least I'm still here to complain about it.

My on-sceen  keyboard keeps turning French on me.  I've completely lost my thoughts.

My Mom & brother helped me buy a camera today.  I'm only tripling my current 4 MP (Megapixel) camera.  I look forward to using it.  It's shock-proof from 1.5m;  I'm sure I'll drop frequently.

I have one of the nagging headaches.   It has been here for days.  I've had migraines for the past few mornings.

The Waiting Game

I am waiting for homecare to arrive, but yet I always feel this way.  I always have five health care professionals in my home daily.  I'm on the "Urgent Placement" list to find a bed in a LTC (Long-term care) Facility.  Nova Scotia's Healthcare needs changes.  I've been on the list for 30 days now.  I have many health issues (also including my Celiac diet).

I'm not as urgent as unstable folks in the hospitals and this is fair.  Even though I may not always put others first, I try to be fair.