nothing

As The Doors play in the ear-buds the topic floats around with the music.  Jim Morrison`s voice haunts the brain and creates a poetic yet empty way of thinking.

I may not have Internet for a bit.  I really have nothing.

Bernie

Bernie was met a year ago in the same hospital room.  Strange coincidences happen often in life.  He's my step-Mothers' best-friends Father.  As confusing as it is.

It was heartbreaking  finding out he had terminal brain Cancer.  He had an inoperable brain tumour.

He was as smart and able to walk really fast.  He was the only man in the co-ed ward.  One other ladies in the room had Celiac disease.  One nurse was a former roommate of a friend.

He was very knowledgeable and amazed me continually with how fast he was at walking.

Thank you for being you Bernie.

*CORRECTION:  Bernie was in the hospital with me two years ago.

Technology

Technology is so fascinating.   It's been adored since Commodore 64s and Atari.  Technology is not feared.  In grade five a very old computer was in our classroom.

An iPod Nano is used to drown out all of the sounds.  The iPod, care of my brother, is the new toy.  Well, not new.  It's a fourth generation.  It works very well. 

The iPod shall lull me to sleep again.

1 am..

At 1 am it's annoying being so tired and wanting to sleep.  This is how the upcoming full moon affects me.  It could be the body's natural rhythm.

Regardless of why, the outcome is the same.  Here the body is typing and thinking.

Luckily, persistence is in this body.  A drift into sleep-land did happen.

Seven hours later and of course back to the blog.  The fatigue is overwhelming but it's a reminder of being alive. 

Gosh darned full moon.  This afternoon the clothes sorting volunteering weekly meeting happens.  Hopefully caffeine will wake these tired bones.  Everyone's favourite; caffeine.

Baby Elephants

Baby elephants are so cute.  Baby elephants make me smile.  Do they make you smile?  What do you use to make you smile?

Full Moons

The full Moon affects everyone differently.  It seems to also really bother some people with dementia.  "The screamers,"  as the ones whom holler are called, seem to "scream" more.  Six am screaming is hard on a person, even the 'screamer."

The full moon equals zaniness in my World also.  The emotional and sensitive sides emerge.  It is the worst time.  Personally, this time is no fun. 

The smile  may still be there but it's difficult to make.

I'm Sorry

I question everything and it's harder to quit compared to Pepsi.  It's something I never want to quit.  I see nothing wrong with being a winner!  Also I'm not much of a quitter.

Those  who have been around me longer than five minutes know I apologize for everything.

"Oh, your tea is cold?"   pause,  "I'm so sorry."

 Politeness has always been a problem for me.  It's probably partly because I'm Canadian and taught some manors by my very ladylike Grandmother.  I am okay with taking responsibility for mostly everything and anything. 

If I must stop apologizing I feel I'm rude.  This will take a while.

Happy Thoughts

The schooner is wheelchair accessible.  It has safety tie-downs in front of the steering.  The ship cuts through waves as though it's paper.  Smelling the ocean as spray hits the face.

This is a fantasy from August 2012.  The happy thoughts used to keep a person relatively sane are amazing.  This brain is fascinating.  It is neat how things are forgotten to protect it.

Happy thoughts must be had in this LTC facility.  Between the chatter, noises and deafening call-bells; the Ocean or a body of water sounds appealing.

The schooner is red and black.  It doesn't travel too fast because of possible motion-sickness.  It is perfect for accommodating wheelchairs.  Luckily.  Happy thoughts.

Procrastination

Procrastination is a trait which is well  known and most have  experienced.  Yep, I'm showing this trait right now.

My Next Birthday on Uranus

My birthday on Uranus is Monday, August 7, 2062.  I am 0.41 years old.  I'm less than halfway to one.  Woo-hoo!

Otherwise, the lull or crappy-time of the month is beginning.  I'm trying to keep it to myself, but I can't.  The yelling is unbearable on this floor.  The noise-resistant headphones are not.  Sorry for not discussing my Uranus birthday...

So yeah, my first birthday on Uranus is only in 49 years. I'll be 83 Earth years old on my first Uranus birthday.  Hopefully I remember.

Music

Music is always great to discuss and we all have a story.  My example is the song Born Slippy.  It's by a band called Underworld. 

The first feeling is an icky feeling because of the memories which are associated with the song.  The first thought is of the movie Trainspotting the song was on the soundtrack.  It was a film  I knew nothing about when the theatre was entered.   My first ever parking ticket was issued while in the theatre.

If I'm not mistaken, I snuck into the theatre showing Trainspotting after seeing a something less monumental movie.  Don't tell my Mom!

The pain experienced today kills my concentration.  Thank goodness someone created spell-check.

So, the word used and not understood is ornate.  Delicate, detailed is what is thought. 

Blogs

A blog is often defined (by blog me) as a Web log/journal. Luckily it's the proper definition and rumours are correct.  My first blog was created in 2001 on MSN Spaces.  The blog site closed a few years ago.  My old writing is history.

I probably started my first blogger account around the same time.  Luckily GMAIL was available around the same time.  It held onto my account and blogging on a new blog started.

Yeah, a new blog.  Every letter is clicked on with an on-screen keyboard and mouse.  Looks easy and it's good for me.  The typing is getting faster as time passes. Hopefully I'll get faster as time passes.

Mornings

Mornings consist of many things including blogging.  Blogging awakens the brain normally.  Some days, like today, it's not possible to awaken it. 

Mornings need to be productive so the rest of the day is productive.  Today is a sleepy day.

Chores

What really is a chore?
chore  (chôr, chr) is what

n.

1. A routine or minor duty or task. See Synonyms at task.

2. chores Daily or routine domestic tasks, especially a farmer's routine morning and evening tasks, such as feeding livestock.

3. An unpleasant or burdensome task.

---

[Variant of char.]

 

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/chore

Basically, #3 is what it's described as.  A chore was a housekeeping task for most people.  It was something completed to earn allowance growing up.  The first person wanting $1.50 for vacuuming two floors, can have it.

Chores were a means to an end.  A chore became an annoyance as time past, then eventually became impossible.  This was burden-free bliss that hopefully lasts through life.

Hair

The infatuation with hair has always been lost.  The head of hair I have has always been an annoyance.  My own haircuts (the ones I did) have been great and have been missed.

I'm looking forward to cutting my hair super short.  My plan is to donate my hair for a Cancer patients' wig. This is the only reason it's getting much longer than I want it.  An inch or two in hair length works for me. 

With short hair & one earring in the 80s meant my doctor thought I was a boy.  My name could be thought of as male.  I was only a gender aware five year old.  I remember asking my Mother about it after. 

Oh hair, how much you're hated.

Physiotherapy (Physical Therapy)

Physiotherapy feels so rewarding even though my head and right arm work well.  The range of motion exercises (they are gentle stretches for my legs and left arm) feel good even though they're not really felt. 

So much range has been returned to my left arm, my prayers of lifting weights with the arm seem like a possibility.  I've always wanted to be in better shape.

Another thing about working out, it builds more confidence in oneself.  That means a lot, regardless of your level of fitness.  Well, it only took 34 years to appreciate it!  Ah well, better late than never.

IPOD

IPOD, I finally have found out how to use you!  It only took 3three days!?! 

6:49 am

Ugh is the best way to describe the zombie-like feeling I get.  I'm so tired.  I'll try sleeping again.

Simplicity

Simplicity is desired by everyone.  Everyone comments about a sleeping cats' life and how hard it must  be.  A cats' life is very easy if it includes that much sleep.

Can you tell what is the goal of my life?  I need to be able to fall asleep.  Recurring topic...

So, simplicity is often a craving.  It appears to be possible for this life, but hope is there for the next one.

Simplicity is something which is desired.  Everything done is modelled around simplicity to avoid complications. Simplicity is helpful, but chaos rules this life.  

Alcohol

Alcohol.  It's something, as a kid, that was used each time I dated a boyfriend, until the last boyfriend.  Damn, most dates have become a boyfriend after we met while inebriated (a big word for drunk).  I'm a former drinker.

A beer was the favourite.  When Celiac Disease became a part of this life, alcohol use was no more.  Beer is missed.  The lovely red wine, how it's missed as well.

Although I may be driven to drink, smoking is easier to do.  The view from the smoke room looks nice.  Plus, I don't want to be pulled over for drinking and driving.  Oh, the wheelchair jokes are plentiful.  On that note...

Another Word Lesson

Lesson #3?  The brain is not cooperating the way I'd hope, so words rule:

• ubiquitous
• incontinent 
• prefix
• zephyr - I now know the correct explanation.

Otherwise my brother brought bigger headphones.  Now others will be able to see when I'm listening something.  And they're noise resistant.  Thank goodness.

Negativity

Negativity is hard to avoid.  Especially brother  when so much has been experienced.

But Monte Python "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" is what I'd listen to on these kinds of days.  The song will be in my head for the day now.  My Dad used to sing when I was a kid

No matter how crappy life is, Monte Python is always there.  They make me laugh.  My brother and I used to listen to the record album at our babysitter's house.

Regardless, I try to avoid negativity.

Aging

It seems like aging, like taxes and death, is unavailable.  Grey hair is something which has been growing on my head sine 19 years of age.  So many have grown since then.  Dyeing the hair seems pointless as the grey is going to grow back.

Aging naturally seems like the way to go.  When wrinkles emerge, they will be accepted as the grey hair was.  Like any change, it's accepted or rejected.  A number of things in life have to be accepted including lots of tax in our province.

A new awesome word:  Lawn-mullet.. 

Another Day...

Another day living the dream; retirement.  Isn't this what everybody is 'working' towards?  Oh, how "pun"ny.. Remember the dream of travelling with your heaps of money or am I the only one?     I hoped to own a camper and to drive throughout Canada again.

Luckily, the camper is wheelchair accessible and it has an extra bed for my nurse.  Thank goodness dreams can be changed.  Retirement just happened at 31 years old and the bank account had a lot less in it.

Some dreams will never be realized, but focusing on the new dreams is what helps me when thoughts of my old dreams are considered.  Except the dream of being a super model.  That dream will never die!  Okay it was never a real dream.

Happy New Year!

New Year... Sleeping through it is how I prefer to spend New Year's eve.  One set of fireworks were visible but I was in bed.  At least others on my floor could see them.

Fireworks are not exciting to me.  My eyes have seen many gorgeous firework displays; the ones here are not a special display.  Disney's beautiful fireworks destroyed all future firework. displays  

Then the Symphony of Fire in Vancouver, British Columbia.  Global firework technicians compete and used to have competitions set to music.  You could (may still be able to) set the radio to the frequency the music to.  That was an unbelievable display. 

But, have a great New year!