One Year

I have had my tablet for a year now and I think I have to spend the rest of my life writing what I need. I hate writing it because I edit what I need help with to accommodate the person who is helping me instead. I'm not able to concentrate in nursing care as I am required to be able to receive treatment when it is offered. I'm loosing any zest for any thing needing energy. I hear stuff I don't know I know. Sadly I loose track of what I am writing. I'm pontificating. What's the definition to pontificate